Higher Octane – Season of Breaking

Forte is the Italian word for “strong.” I bought a 2015 Kia Forte in August with only 51K miles on it – and I’m hoping it remains strong for many more miles. But, I’ve had a few things break on it since I bought it in late August. Very surprising. Three days after I drove it home, someone broke off the antenna fin while I was parked downtown.

Is this a “season of breaking” in my life? Because the list of broken items or situations has grown since the Mini was rear-ended in July. Here’s a list of my current “breaking events:”

• The Forte had bad tint on the rear window and had to be removed – I had a loaner for 3 days
• New direct supervisors at work – 2 so far – new expectations on the way that I work
• Tint removal on the Forte caused the rear defrost to stop working – took a long time to schedule replacement
• Kitchen trashcan foot pedal broke off
• Wife’s finger blister – infection and urgent care the morning we left on vacation
• Head light bulb went out on vacation on wife’s car – I replaced it
• Got home from vacation to find the Forte’s newly replaced window shattered – cause unknown
• Very next day, one large crack appeared in my wife’s windshield
• Wife’s ring light for her work stopped working – only for a day, but troublesome
• 3 months after the Mini’s demise – I’m still waiting (and yes, regularly calling) for a portion of the insurance payment to come to me – that’s a system that needs to be broken and rebuilt.

God is love. And like most of us, I’ve occasionally had trouble interpreting His love when my circumstances feel like they are hurting me. “Why can’t I have it now? Why is this happening to me?” If I’m honest, these questions are my “less accusatory” way of saying what my gut is feeling: “Why are you, my loving Father, allowing this in my life?”

Lots of teachers turn to Job for insight on this topic of “why is this happening to me?” I have benefitted in the past from understanding the lessons of Job. Job’s life went up, then down, then down further. Then he got the answer that God was bigger than Job and all his misfortunes. Job submitted and reaffirmed God as God – and then his life went back up – greater than before. It’s not a formula, but it is a common pattern in the lives of many of God’s followers.

I’m led right now to believe that I’m in this season of breaking for a reason. The old car was broken, the new car is now broken. Stuff breaks, and stuff can be repaired or replaced. But it seems like a lot of my stuff is suddenly breaking. Jesus taught his disciples that new wine could not go into old wineskins because they would burst. They would become old and brittle and not be useful, or able to receive change. New wine needed new wineskins. He wanted them to know that He was the New Wine, and that the disciples would have to be made new to receive Him and to walk in all that He had for them.

Sounds like radical change – a lot more than simply shifting the gears. I’m not sure what’s coming next, and I’m struggling with the breaking all around me. But I’m trying to pay attention to the New Wine, Jesus, so that I have a shot at being ready. I don’t want to be an impatient child, pouting and complaining anytime something doesn’t go my way. My only answer and hope is to keep pressing into my Father who loves me and wants to prepare a new wineskin in me. May my thoughts about Him not turn to questioning my circumstances or His eternal care and protection, but knowing Him more greatly, and making Him known. There may be a big shift ahead – I want to be ready.